Whether it is you who called it off or your partner who called it quits, painful emotions and anger are sure to hit you bad after a break-up. This is especially more tormenting if you had reached the stage of making that 'lifelong' commitment with them. The whole episode renders you feeling insecure; and you start wondering if you are really worthy of anyone’s love or ready to trust anyone with your heart.
What matters here the most is to find out a way that will help you in moving on. Let us be your guide in your journey to get over this rough patch, find your confidence back again, rebuilt that self-esteem, pick your self up with a hearty smile, and get over the break-up.
Grieve first!
Yes, we mean it! You have to grieve over it, to get some closure. Many people can accept ‘death’ faster than accepting a ‘break-up’. It is this disbelief that keeps them hooked on to the hopes of a future, which may never happen. So, get angry, cry your heart out, and write hateful messages expressing your feelings, and anything else, which would help you to relieve your emotions. Providing an outlet to the pent-up emotions will help you get over things faster!
Identify yourself!
The way you see yourself is crucial in understanding the level of your confidence. Your partner’s view of you, as an individual or as a ‘better half’, should not make you shape an image about yourself. We try to hide our less-than-perfect selves and the broken parts from the outer world in the fear of being type-casted as weak personalities. So, whether he called you fat or she called you a loser, it doesn’t mean that you see yourself like that. Don’t let their perception shape your identity.
Get your life back!
We asked you to open up about your feelings, but why cry over spilt milk over and over again? Get a grip of your life. You had a beautiful life before “that” person came along, right? So, why not again? Feel good about yourself- have your teeth whitened, buy new outfits that compliment your figure, get a new and funky hairstyle. Also, meet up with your buddies, as they are the ones who care about you, and who can help you as well.
Throw your ex out!
Get rid of those "couple's" photos that you have around in the house or in your mobile phone. Also, delete his/her number. It will help your to eventually forget about the pain and anxiety you are going through. Also, it will save you from the impulse of dialling that number when you feel really low. And, not just pics and number, it is time to take every little gift and note out of your closet and your life!
Think beyond yourself!
Think of ways to put your strengths into use, in ways that might benefit others. If you are a good cook, volunteer at a social service organisation's kitchen or make meals for the needy people around your place. If you are a sympathetic and good listener, visit a senior’s residence or care facilities for the deprived, and help them. There is a world way beyond your emotional issues, where "real-world" problems lie. Bringing joy to others would make you see the broader (and much brighter) picture of life. Also, it would do wonders to your self-confidence.
Set goals
If you are having a hard time in finding reasons to get out of the bed, convince yourself that you are not worthy of much more. Set concrete goals that would remind you of your accomplishments and motivate you to work better. Your goals can be anything- short-term or long-term, for your own good or wider good, anything. But, you need some goals in life to divert your attention and your energy!
Harsh words, rejections and negative comments, can wear away only when your self-esteem is given a strong push. Think of your break-up as a chance to look for something better in your life! Use these simple tricks to discover a confident you, and to get over the heart break!
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