Thursday, February 6, 2014

CLASSIC DEFT DEFINITIONS - CRISP AND CLEAR

Ant 
A busy insect that still finds time to go to picnics. 

Adder 
Mathematically inclined snake. 

Atheism 
Non-prophet organization. 

Babies 
Nature's way of showing people what the world looks like at 2 a.m. 

Baby sitter 
A teenager who must behave like an adult so that the adults who are out can behave like teenagers. 

Buffet 
A French word which means "Get up and get it yourself." 

Charisma 
That mysterious something that bald, dull billionaires have. 

Comic books 
The opera of the print media. 

Drama 
What literature does at night. 

Ecstasy 
Discovering a second layer of chocolates under the first. 

Ego trip 
Something that never gets you anywhere. 

Emergency numbers 
Police station, fire department, and places that deliver. 

Eternity 
The first 60 seconds of a blind date. 

Etiquette 
Learning to yawn with your mouth closed. 

Fancy Restaurant 
One that serves cold soup on purpose. 

Fear 
Excitement in need of an attitude adjustment. 

Great economist 
Someone who, tomorrow, is perfectly capable of explaining why what he forecasted yesterday didn't happen today. 

Kissing 
A means of getting two people so close together that they can't see anything wrong with each other. 

Marriage 
A friendship recognized by the police. 

Mobile phones 
The only subject on which men boast about who's got the smallest. 

Net worth 
Fisherman's income. 

Perfectionist 
A person who takes great pains and gives them to others. 

Pessimist 
Someone who complains of the noise when opportunity knocks. 

Poise 
The ability to continue speaking fluently while the other fellow is picking up the cheque. 

Quartet 
Where all four think the other three can't sing. 

Real Patriot 
The fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works. 

Semiconductors 
Part-time band leaders. 

Slimming 
Living beyond your seams. 

Summer vacation 
When parents suddenly realize that teachers are grossly underpaid. 

Superstition 
Dark side of wonder. 

Tattoo 
Permanent proof of temporary insanity. 

Walking 
A form of exercise that loses some appeal when it's done behind a lawn mower. 

Workaholic 
Someone whose favorite entertainment is Monday morning.

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